Some psychologists categorize people searching for love in two extremes: those who compromise easily and those who never do. The former tend to stop looking for a partner the minute they meet someone who has some of the attributes they are looking for, even if they lack many others, and the latter are never satisfied with anything and are constantly on the lookout for the perfect partner. Neither of them are happy.
Why The Search For A Perfect Partner Is A Sure Way To Disappointment
If you belong in the second category, your choice may say a lot about you. First of all, people who are always struggling for more are, more often than not, people who pay a lot of attention to what others have to say about them. Sometimes, this search for perfection may be, unbeknownst to you, a situation you are pressured to be in due to how much you care about what others think about you.
Men who are looking for ‘trophy wives’ are usually just seeking the attention and admiration of others. So, despite the fact that you may think that looking for a perfect partner shows you are confident, it may well be that the opposite is true. In reality, a person who’s confident doesn’t care how people judge his choice of partner, as they are sure of themselves and their choices.
How Is The Pursuit Of A Perfect Partner Making You Unhappy?
There is one little detail that eludes those looking for a perfect partner, and it’s also the main reason why they will always be unhappy: there is no such thing as a perfect partner. No one is perfect. So, in reality, when you are looking for a perfect human being, you are a delusional person searching for a utopia.
People who are after a perfect woman but, naturally, can’t find her, will keep going from relationship to relationship and from disappointment to disappointment. Their tolerance levels are low and even the smallest thing is turned into a big deal in their mind and they are unwilling to give their partner a second chance, thus missing out on relationships that might have worked if they believed in them a little more.
Because they always think what they have is not enough, they tend to have a wandering eye, so they have trouble committing to any one person since they are already looking for their next, better alternative.
Finally, these people’s hesitation to commit to one person due to their FOMO (fear of missing out) issues and their strategic choice to be with one foot out the door in any relationship intensifies the feeling of instability and insecurity in their lives, as we are far happier when we have made final decisions that we can start working and building on.
There is, however, a middle path. Not looking for a perfect partner does not mean having low standards. On the contrary, any self-respecting man won’t settle for someone they don’t feel strong love and admiration for. But having high standards is one thing, and having unrealistic ones is another.