With so much going on regarding human relationships, one cannot help but wonder why there is still a kind of taboo regarding age gap relationships. As long as two adults are willingly involved in it, why is there such a big fuss about choosing to be with someone younger or older than you?

A Survey On Age Gap Relationships

A new survey, carried out by Wang-Sheng Lee of the Department of Economics in Deakin University and IZA in Burwood, Australia and Terra McKinnish of the Department of Economics in the University of Colorado and IZA, in Boulder, USA, examines how the age gap affects the evolution of marital satisfaction over the duration of marriage using household panel data from Australia.

What the survey found, in a nutshell, is that those who marry younger spouses are happier in the relationship. However, as the survey concludes: “Marital satisfaction declines with marital duration for both men and women in differently aged couples relative to those in similarly aged couples. These relative declines erase the initial higher levels of marital satisfaction experienced by men married to younger wives and women married to younger husbands within 6 to 10 years of marriage. A possible mechanism is that differently aged couples are less resilient to negative shocks compared to similarly aged couples, which we find some supportive evidence for.” How much should these results affect us, though?

The Honest Truth About Age Gap Relationships

Despite surveys with negative or opposite conclusions regarding age gap relationships, the truth about these relationships is that they are as good as the people involved in them. As with any other romantic relationship, age gap relationships take effort and sacrifices.

To illustrate this point – the study claims that a lack of shared goals may be why these relationships fall apart, but isn’t that the case in any relationship, regardless of age? If one of you wants to focus on his career while the other is ready to make babies, isn’t that a problem when both partners are of the same age? Doesn’t that have to do with your personality and dreams rather than your age?

The Benefits

To get to the point: does one gain anything from being in one? In one word: yes. Both partners in age gap relationships gain a lot from being together. First of all, if you’re the younger one, you are very likely to learn a lot from your older and more experienced partner regarding life, work, and relationships. Knowledge coming straight out of experience is the most precious kind there is, and a partner who can honestly offer sound advice is a huge asset. If you’re the older partner, it’s very likely that your younger partner will revitalize you, keeping you-up-to-date with things and giving you incentive to discover new things and live new, exciting experiences.

Another thing keeping age gap relationships happy is admiration. The younger person usually admires the strong and mature personality of their partner, while the older one loves how fresh and full of beans their partner is. This difference makes the couple less competitive, which is yet another benefit of age gap relationships. Partners of a similar age are usually in the same phase when it comes to their career and have the same level of experience, so they tend to be far more ambitious and competitive even with one another.

The Drawbacks

Despite the obvious advantages of being with an older partner, there are some disadvantages involved too. While the advantages have to do with the couple itself, though, the drawbacks are more related to how the others see them.

One of the biggest problems still facing age gap relationships has to do with how they are accepted by their family and friends. Sometimes our own family and circle of friends find it hard to accept our life choices.

Another issue people in age gap relationships face is some narrow-minded people’s suspicion. For some, it is hard to believe that a grown man and a grown woman have chosen to be together out of love and not for any other reason if they are not of the same age.

All in all, love is a rare and beautiful thing and it sometimes chooses us faster than we choose it. It’s a shame to let happiness slip away for fear of what others might say or because of prejudice and preconceived ideas of who we should and shouldn’t be with. At the end of the day, both age gap relationships and same age ones will have to face and overcome issues, and both will need the same kind of fuel to work.

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With a different kind of sexual revolution taking place as technology broke the geographical barriers and made us all feel part of a global village, some people today say that monogamy is unnatural, outdated, stifling; impossible even. We can’t lie, especially for those of us who have been in long-term relationships it may often be hard to not lose faith in our partner and to hang on to her. But isn’t everything that’s worth fighting for hard to get or keep? These are the reasons why monogamy may be a one-way street for you.

The Reasons Why Monogamy Works

We won’t try to convince you to be one way or another. The choice to be monogamous or not is a very personal one. All we are going to do is to describe the reasons why monogamy has been around for so long, and why it’s the best and most honest kind of relationship in our view.

#1. You can’t be in love with two or more people at the same time.

Not to the same degree, at least. You may love one and be in love with the other, but there is no way you can love too people in the same way and to the same degree at once. This would cause a strange dynamic of jealousy, antagonism, and stress – all of which are negative and destructive attributes for a relationship.

#2. You can’t expect to be loved to the same degree by two or more people at once.

Likewise, in a polyamorous relationship, you will constantly worry and struggle to figure out how your partners feel. It’s hard enough guessing and figuring out how one partner feels, it’s even worse with more.

#3. Sex gets better with time.

Your between-the-sheets action gets better the more you practice it with your partner. Bringing another person into the equation might seem like a good idea to spice things up, but it will eventually throw you off-balance and make you lose that feeling of intimacy you’ve built between you.

#4. It’s better for your health.

Once you board the polyamory train, you can kiss the feeling of security of knowing you won’t catch STD’s goodbye. People in open relationships can’t be sure that their partner has been careful at all times and with all partners, so they constantly need to be careful to practice safe sex, even when they are in a long-term relationship.

#5. It’s a sign of respect for your special someone.

Even though we may claim to be modern and open-minded as can be, we have been brought up with the ideals of having a special someone, The One, as we are used to calling that person. If you love a woman with all your heart, it’s a sign of respect to be able to give yourself to her exclusively and to make her feel enough for you, in all areas of your life.

So, even though we may fantasize about that supermodel girl that’s just moved next door, sometimes it’s worth not losing faith in the fairytales told by our grandparents where a prince goes looking for the princess that fits the shoe, and the words of Plato: “ Every heart sings a song, incomplete, until another heart whispers back. Those who wish to sing always find a song. At the touch of a lover, everyone becomes a poet.”

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Have you ever wondered whether your fascination with the social media is an impediment to your personal happiness? Phubbing, a word that describes how we snub our partners to check out our social media accounts, refers to one of the worst habits many of us have, unfortunately, adopted.

Is Phubbing Really So Bad?

In one word: yes. Once upon a time, access to computers and the internet was restricted at work or on our home desks, but in the past few years, smartphones have changed the game completely.

Today, our smartphones have – quite literally – become the extension of our hands, accompanying us wherever we go, 24/7. This is how the term “phubbing”, a fusion of “phone” and “snubbing”, came to being. How dangerous is ignoring your partner for your mobile phone screen, though?

When Both Partners Phub

When you go out, to a restaurant for instance, you no longer see people engaging in deep conversation. Most of the time, one (or both) of the partners will be unashamedly ignoring the other, choosing to check out what’s new on their Facebook, Twitter or Instagram feeds instead.

This is, of course, detrimental to a couple’s communication, as it makes the time spent together a superficial experience and hardly something you’d call “quality time”. How can you actively participate in a meaningful discussion if you or your partner are constantly distracted by the incessant bleeping sound of the notifications arriving on your smartphones?

When Only One Of The Partners Is Phubbing

In the cases of just one of the partners being addicted to his/her mobile, a feeling of deep resentment for being so blatantly ignored soon emerges, making the partner who is more invested in spending quality time with his/her other half lose patience and, eventually, interest.

Be Smart, Keep Your Smartphone Away

While modern technology has brought us closer in so many ways, making our world a smaller place and giving us the chance to connect with each other in a more direct and fast manner, it should be handled with care. Phubbing is a prime example of how abusing an amazing means of communication can have destructive effects on our personal life. One word of advice from us, on AsianDate: next time you are out with your girl, be smart and keep your smartphone in your pocket.

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We know, another dating term is not exactly what you need right now – but believe us, you will thank us for helping you recognize when someone is negging you. Yes, the latest trend in modern dating is a bizarre seduction technique that uses insult as its main weapon. Do we have your attention?

What Exactly Is Negging?

The Cambridge dictionary describes negging as “the practice of making negative or slightly insulting comments to someone you find attractive in order to make them take an interest in you”, and while it is very much on-point, we have a feeling you’d like some more explaining.

 An Example Of Negging

This girl spots a handsome, cocky-looking guy (who she normally considers out of her league) sitting at the bar, and decides to take him down a notch a little. So, she employs the cunning technique of negging. She goes up to him and makes a low-grade insult or a backhanded compliment that is sure to throw him off but also arouse his interest. Something like: “Wow you look tired, have you not slept for days?”

Her question will confuse him and take him by surprise, spurring him on to explain things, like why he hasn’t slept or asking her why she thinks so. Then, she can pay him a half-compliment, like “that’s a pity, I imagine your eyes look good when you’re not so worn out”. The idea is a) to draw one’s attention by not doing what is expected (i.e. paying a compliment), and b) slightly intimidating them by undermining their self-confidence so that you get the upper hand in the conversation.

How Do You Deal With People Who Neg?

When it comes to negging, it’s a case of ‘the best defense is a good offense’. Now that you know how to recognize a lady’s effort to neg you, you can reply with a knowing, unfazed laugh and something along the lines of “Is that the best you can do?”, or just say “forget about me, you’re not even good at negging – let me buy you a drink.”

To be fair, negging is a form of flattery, as the person who uses it probably thinks you’re out of their league. However, the bottom line is that if a person needs to resort to a flirting technique that’s sly and based on mildly hurting someone, is that the kind of person you want to be around?

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