We know, another dating term is not exactly what you need right now – but believe us, you will thank us for helping you recognize when someone is negging you. Yes, the latest trend in modern dating is a bizarre seduction technique that uses insult as its main weapon. Do we have your attention?
What Exactly Is Negging?
The Cambridge dictionary describes negging as “the practice of making negative or slightly insulting comments to someone you find attractive in order to make them take an interest in you”, and while it is very much on-point, we have a feeling you’d like some more explaining.
An Example Of Negging
This girl spots a handsome, cocky-looking guy (who she normally considers out of her league) sitting at the bar, and decides to take him down a notch a little. So, she employs the cunning technique of negging. She goes up to him and makes a low-grade insult or a backhanded compliment that is sure to throw him off but also arouse his interest. Something like: “Wow you look tired, have you not slept for days?”
Her question will confuse him and take him by surprise, spurring him on to explain things, like why he hasn’t slept or asking her why she thinks so. Then, she can pay him a half-compliment, like “that’s a pity, I imagine your eyes look good when you’re not so worn out”. The idea is a) to draw one’s attention by not doing what is expected (i.e. paying a compliment), and b) slightly intimidating them by undermining their self-confidence so that you get the upper hand in the conversation.
How Do You Deal With People Who Neg?
When it comes to negging, it’s a case of ‘the best defense is a good offense’. Now that you know how to recognize a lady’s effort to neg you, you can reply with a knowing, unfazed laugh and something along the lines of “Is that the best you can do?”, or just say “forget about me, you’re not even good at negging – let me buy you a drink.”
To be fair, negging is a form of flattery, as the person who uses it probably thinks you’re out of their league. However, the bottom line is that if a person needs to resort to a flirting technique that’s sly and based on mildly hurting someone, is that the kind of person you want to be around?
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